The term ‘the thinking woman’s crumpet’ always makes me laugh. I first heard it in London in the 1980s and since then I have used it sparingly but effectively to describe the elusive appeal of certain male actors.
These performers exude something more than just sex appeal. Pardon my French but there is a ‘je ne sais quoi’ about certain individuals who have an indefinable quality that makes them appealing beyond an attractive physical appearance. For me, that special sort of appeal combines an aura of intelligence and sensitivity with a handsome exterior.
Apparently, the use of crumpet in this context began in the 1930s and was originally slang for a sexually desirable woman. A cockney bloke winks at his mate and says, ‘She’s a fine piece of crumpet.’ You can almost hear the wolf whistle. It is not clear how a bakery item emerged as code for a desirable woman but Canadian English uses the word ‘muffin’ in the same way. I guess being compared to a baked good slathered with butter and jam is better than some other comparisons.
One of the pleasures of this term is that it appropriates the male prerogative of sexual innuendo. In this particular instance, women blithely use sexual innuendo originated by men but with an added humorous twist.
Another reason that the term is enjoyably silly is because when a woman uses it, we are really congratulating ourselves on our intelligence at finding a certain individual appealing, not only because of looks but because the individual possesses unexpected depths of character. In our minds, that means that we too have depth of character.
Now the moment of truth. What actors fall into this special category? I discovered that in the 1980s the American actor Paul Newman was nominated as ‘the older woman’s crumpet’ but he was really too exquisitely handsome to qualify in my opinion.
My nominees in no particular order are Colin Firth, Bill Nighy, David Oyetokunbo Oyelowo, Edward Petherbridge (for my sister) and the late and still very great Alan Rickman. Who will ever forget Rickman in the films Truly, Madly, Deeply and as the spurned suitor in Sense and Sensibility. For me, he remains an enduring and classic ‘thinking woman’s crumpet.’
Who would your nominees be?
